Now a lot of people think getting your heart broken is easy, but not for someone like me. In order to have your heart broken, you need to take a few steps to achieved such feelings. I have experienced heartbreaks before, but I have to admit, this one hurts more than any of the ones I had so far in my life. For me, this is the way to get your heart broken.
Trust. Don’t trust people blindly. Trust the people you know that will stick around and love you not only despite of your mistakes but also love you for your mistakes. Trust them and let them trust you. Let the mutual trust develop a feeling of warmth and of comfort. The next thing you know, you guys are in your own little world. You can freely share your thoughts without the fear of them disliking you or getting mad at you. You can express how you feel about certain things and know that they will respect you for it.
Love. But don’t do it with your eyes close. Love them for who they are. Love them for who they can be. Love them for the love that they are. And love them for the things that they aren’t. Love yourself though and let your love wrap itself around them. Let them feel your love and feel the warmth radiating from you. And even if they may say horrible things to you know that it is not the truth and that they are just an insecure child that needs loving too. Don’t give up on them and don’t love them any less because of it.
Make plans. Dream big. Promise each other how you two will travel the world together until you die. Talk about all the places you want to go and how you want to experience that with them. How you want to be under the stars together at night and how you want to make a campfire at a site you two had just arrived after a long day of hiking. Remember that anything is possible with this person. Talk about the future. Talk about marriage for god sake. Talk about what kinds of parents you’ll both be and ironically, how perfect of a marriage couple the both of you will make. And who can forget? You should tell each other how much you enjoy each other’s presence and how you can’t help but like them. And not platonically either, I’m talking about confessing your feelings to one another. Telling them how you’re falling head over heels.
Listen. Listen as they tell you how even though they like you, it cannot be. Listen as they tell you how they only want to be friends. LISTEN as they tell you they don’t want you to leave, yet they don’t want to make you stay. And don’t you dare cry. Don’t you dare cover your ears or your eyes. Listen to every words that come out of their mouth and remember it well.
Remember. Remember all the moments you two spent together. Remember all those nights you stayed up for one another. Remember all those quirky jokes or the times they call you cute and adorable. Remember the moments when they joked about you being their girlfriend/boyfriend and the moments they referred to you as their significant other. And NEVER ever forget how indecisive they are. How they are aware of your feelings yet they choose to do nothing about it, and even worse, how they purposely say things to make your feelings grow. Remember all the things that could have been and the things that never will be.
And forget. Forget about it all. Forget about all the promises made, all the sweet words said, all the bullshit they put you through because they can’t make up their mind. They don’t want you to leave, yet they don’t have a reason for you to really stay either. They always say they do. What is it? Because “I care about you”? If they really cared, they would not put you through their indecisiveness and continue the heartbreak even when you have brought it up many times. Just forget about them. Forget about how happy they made you feel. Forget about how for the first time you actually wanted someone in your life that badly. Forget about how you two trust and love each other so much. Forget about it all, and maybe then. Just maybe then, you’ll find a piece of yourself that you haven’t given to them yet.
Cry. Cry your heart out. Cry because that’s all you think you can do. You know there is more you can do than just walking away from the person, but you also know that you cannot change another person’s heart. Or maybe you can, but can you stomach through the trials and the pain? So keep crying, my child. Keep crying. Remember all the good times and the bad times. Remember all the what ifs and the could haves. Then forget about them and let your tears act as a way for you to let go. Let your tears be the liberation you deserve. Let it set you free. And let it remind you that you are nothing and I mean nothing close to the person that they wished you’ll be.
Because you see, you are so much more than that. And if they can’t see that, then that’s their lost. Because even when you’re heartbroken, you are strong and beautiful. Don’t let someone define you. Don’t let a could-have define a will-be. And don’t you lose hope.
Because I swear, one day, you will meet that special someone. And it still won’t be easy. But the difference is they’ll know and you’ll know that you two are meant to be and there’s nothing in this goddamn world that can keep you two apart.