Hello! This is the Jenice from future in case that time ever turns back and you find yourself having to start college again, which is somewhat possible right? Who knows maybe we’ll have that kind of technology one day. But just in case this happens, I have some advice for you, so listen well!
People are trash. No literally. There are going to be people in college that are worse than high school, especially now that they are away from their parent’s grip. You have to keep in mind that you’re coming into college with people your age that you just gone to high school with. Don’t expect people to just do an 180 and become mature, because that’s not going to happen. Even fourth years can still be just as immature as a first year. People are also going to come and go if you don’t keep in touch with them or form some sort of bond. There are, of course, people who will use you to their own advantage such as asking you for notes, study guides, “help”, answers, etc all the time. And guess what when the course is done? POOF! They disappear. That’s right. They don’t give a shit other than to get a good grade. The good news is that there are also good people. People who genuinely loves you, cares about you, and wants to be friends with you. College will go by so fast; people who don’t care are just going to leave, because truth be told, nobody got time being friends with someone that they don’t like.
TL;DR : Don’t make assumptions about people in college, because there’s a high chance that you will be wrong!
Put yourself out there. When people say that college is what you make of it, they weren’t joking. If there is something you always wanted to try, try it out whether that’s drinking, partying, doing drugs, rushing greek life, dating, one-night stand, hooking up, etc. College is a time for you to have fun and to try new things. Of course you shouldn’t feel compelled to try new things just because the people around you are doing it especially when they’re trying to get you to do it. Remember that you always have a choice to choose what you want. Personally, I’m not one for one-night stand because I prefer making love over fucking. I need the emotional intimacy to be there first, but hey that might be something other people prefer more. That’s perfectly okay, but like I said, just make sure you’re not doing it because others want you to do it. Do it because you want to do it.
TL;DR : Try new things!
Don’t ask me about dating, because I’m just a clueless potato that nobody is interested in and because I’m also dense as hell to the point that even if someone did like me, they probably stopped because I end up friend zoning them without realizing it . – .
It’s okay to ask for help! I cannot stress this enough.
For the longest time, I thought I had to go through everything alone because I don’t want to burden others, but now I realize the importance of having a balance. Emotional intimacy is what makes a bond stronger, and that can be said about every relationships. Sometimes, I feel like I fall victim to depending on my friends too much for my emotional health, and that can be disastrous too.
Relationship is supposed to improve your life. It’s supposed to help you growth, not set you back and stress you out. I don’t want my friends to do that to me, and I don’t want to do that to them either. That’s why it’s so important to have a good balance.
TL;DR : “Give space, take space”
I swear I had more advice, and I swear I thought I was gonna start and finish this weeks ago. I’ve been too busy relaxing and taking time off for myself either it’s to meet up with friends, family, or just having some alone time. I guess this would be the time to transition into the advice.
Remember to have fun and listen to yourself! You know yourself best, and you know what you need the most in the moment. If you feel the need to get the hell out of a hangout with a friend, do it. Don’t feel guilty or bad for it. Just let them know that you aren’t feeling well and want some time alone. Reschedule with them on the spot if you want to, but just listen to yourself and your own needs.
If those friends of yours don’t understand that, can you really call them your friends? Because there’s something I also learned the hard way: just because you’re afraid to hurt someone you care about and refuse to do so, it doesn’t mean those people will feel and do the same. When it comes down to it, humans are selfish, but that selfishness doesn’t always have to be a bad thing.
But I also voice my concern regarding this before. I don’t like to call it “selfishness.” I like to call it “assertiveness.” Knowing what you what and doing things to get what you want is being assertive, and it is taking control over your life. If you need some time for yourself and you do that, you’re being assertive. You’re not being selfish.
People just throw around the word selfishness to hurt people and to guilt-trip them into thinking that they aren’t worthy enough to do decide what they need in their life.
TL;DR : Listen to yourself! Do what you need to do.
There is such a thing called over-sensitivity, and people need to stop putting their power in others and blaming people for their own emotions.
You don’t need to forgive anyone but yourself. If there’s anybody you need to forgive in life, it is yourself. Not others. If someone has done you wrong and treated you like shit, you don’t need to forgive them even if they are your family members, your closest friends, or your significant others.
The faculty may or may not be one of the most shittiest people you meet in life. They might care about you and your education, and they might care more about going home at the end of their hours. It’s frustrating, but it’s also just the way things are in the real world too.
There are going to be people who care about your well-being and those who thinks whatever you tell them is just a boat full of lies. That’s something we just can’t control. Some people will like you, some people will love you, some people will dislike you, and some people will try to murder you (or maybe not).
My point is although you are entitle to being treated like a human being and although you have your basic human rights written down in a legal document that doesn’t mean people will follow it. And in those moments, you need to remember that panicking will only make it worse. Ground yourself and think about what to do from there on.
TL;DR : You don’t need everyone to like you to be successful in life.
People are gonna have different views. Respect that. I think that’s simple enough.
Numbers are just numbers in the end. They do not limit you. You limit yourself through the brainwashing of society. There are so many things you are capable of doing, and as soon as you stop seeing everything in such a linear way, you will set yourself free. And when you set yourself free, you will realize the only thing that can truly limit you is you.