6.26.17 | 01:23

I’m not afraid of rejection. I’m afraid of deception.

I’m afraid that someone will say I love you easily without meaning it. I’m afraid that someone will be with me only for sex. I’m afraid that they want to be with me at their own convenience.

And I’m just afraid to be with someone only to find out a few months or even a few years later that they never once loved me.

In a way, it must be a privilege to only fear rejection, because from my own personal experience, I rather be rejected up front than to find out down the line that I never meant anything to the person at all.


6.26.17 | 01:02

Whenever I listen to music this late at night, I can’t help but think of you. Whenever I want to just escape my life, I think of you. You were my safe haven. I didn’t care where we ended going as long as I was with you, it was enough. A part of me still fantasize what would happen if you left her and even what would happen if you loved me more than her. All these ifs and whens are starting to haunt me again. But I can’t help it. I can’t help to let go when I feel like I have nothing in front of me to hold on to. I just wish I had someone like you again. I just want to be held right now.

someone like you

i wish i had someone like you

someone to lie on the ground with in a candle-lit room at 11 pm at night

as we lie there, we can point at the ceiling, pretending that it’s the night sky. we can watch the shadows of our hands dance while we laugh at each other. and when it becomes silent, we can look into each other eyes and press our forehead against one another. we can just enjoy the moment like this is our night to shine. and we can even fall asleep peacefully in each other’s arms, knowing that we are being embraced with love and comfort

i wish i had someone like you